Year End Note 2010

The bivalve breathes

Slow in

Fast out

For movement

For nourishment

For existence

In this world

Is primarily duality

Breathe in

Breathe out

With each step

The path unfolds

Rough and smooth

Raked pebbles

Along garden paths

Lined with roses.

You picked one

Offer it as your token

Stroked it 'gainst your lips

Soft

Plump

Then.

Hourglasses empty

Turn after turn

Rose petals wither

Tortured dry

Trying to maintain

A semblance of youth

Gone.

The bivalve breathes

Slow in

Slow out

Opening its tender heart

To its dark unseen world

I enter

A secret love

A pain it did not ask for

Unrequested

Unrequited

Yet

Someday

To be a pearl.

Dream Fragments

March 3rd

Drempt I had graying temples.
It looked good.
Brushed my hair; they got grayer.

March 7th

Drempt I was playing accordion for a show.
I felt I was playing well, but the director was mildly critical.
Rehearsal was in some loft.
I left and saw a storefront with a beautiful automated marionette show.
The storefront was for a seer.

May 26th

Drempt I was in LA watching "The Kids in the Hall" on the Economy Channel
Had to find Grand Tchpatoula (?) in the warehouse district.

Drempt Vivecca was there (having PC problems). Told me she had cancer. Told her to believe in miracles, trust yourself, inner voice.

September 23rd

I drempt I was sent a box of herb tea (I need tea).
The tea was loose, but sitting on top of the tea was a beautiful yellow-orange rose.
Who sent it? Mom? Lyd?

Febuary 8th

I'm living in some depressed town.
A factory was attached to the High School.
People all hang out at the diner where they serve sweet potato fries.

March 19th

Drempt I was staying at a house with a group of people.
There was a lot of fabric.
Someone got mad at me because I cut a bolt and the piece was only 1 yard wide, not wide enuf for this project.
There was a big gathering at the house, a party, a wedding reception.
Lots of people/old friends (Schwed?).
Later Jasmine shows up.
She's visiting.
She's got a 'Blondie'-type bleach job.
We go out to get something to eat.

July 22nd

I'm working in some university library.
Then I'm on a train w/ Carol & Ron, going 'home'.
Then I'm in some big dorm/apartment building.
I'm living with someone.
I'm visited by Nicole Williamson, jewelry designer.
I admit to having made a mistake.

Aoril 1st

Drempt about Zero Mostel owning a store going out of business.
Guns were involved.
Don't remember details.
Had to go hunting for food.

January 7th

Drempt of going to the movies.
Some triple Feature.
Lot's of people were there.

January 28th

Drempt about a house.
Living there with a number of people (was I in school?).
That's all I remember.
Later......
I remember picking walnuts...
small black walnuts...
they were dissolving in my hands.

February 3rd

I'm in this big house again.
I'm teaching there I think...
I get in a car with Dad and go to the beach.
I put on my underwear before exiting car (I'm naked).
People are at the beach including Joseph Triebwasser.
We exchange sharp remarks.
He is working on some script.
Beach is busy.
Back at the house there's a ticking sound.
Someone has put new tacks in the floor.

Untitled December Poem

Cold staring cat’s eye
Hangs
Mid-sky

Its hooded cat’s lid
Fixed
Unkind

Vexed like a spurned lover
Alone
Blind

Don’t turn your back
On my
Desire

It’s arched black neck
The very
Question.

New Year Fragment

Just you wait
until you aren't 35
or 39
or 44
just wait!

I laugh when I tell you that
but
where does laughter come from
friend?
Did you really every consider
it?

Oh dry up ~
what kind of a scarf?
Puce?

You make me want to vomit
Puce:
an hommage .

Alone
on cold wrought iron
brown paper for protection
you read me
and spit me out.

Red hawks know
where media graze
in this large empty city
surrounded by water.

Can you hear
it? No?
Of course not dear.
Smile and defer
your dinner comes from a frontier

long gone
unjustly obscene
lingering on the tongue
like your scent
on my sheets
dark
pungent
illogical

trnaslating Russian to English.

Cold December Night

I put out my hands to the screen
And it looks back at me,
Dumbfounded!
Ish Kabibble
What’s in your kibble?
Are you trying to eat my organs?
Are you some alien being trying to breed your brood in my gullet?
I think back on it….
Was it something I said?

Of course, what else, pas quoi, pas mal, seht guht, nicht mal….

The heart is a lonely beast
Calling to the moon,
A sliced scar,
In the cold December sky.

It’s short
And bald
And it’s gums are receding!
They bleed far to easily:
Another soft spot
In a constellation
That makes a thorny crown
On the pate of my heart.

My heart looks to the moon.
It’s smiling
A dark secret smile
That the two share
On a dark cold night
In advent of Solstice.

Early December, Early Saturday

Incognito snowdrops loom small

Beneath your hard cracked surface

Buried high

Layer upon layer

Of grime

And years

And wrinkled regret.



You hold my hand and say

“Darling, I love you.”

But it burns my fingers

And I pull back.

My reflex.

Please no

Don’t touch my feet!!



Fishy fishy fishy fishy

Nibble nibble at my toes.

You are happy in your tank there

Fishy fishy has no woes.

Don’t

Stop

Fishy fishy don’t!



My man is here someplace, I hear.

Hiding beneath an icy sheath

Head slumped; Dark eyed

Pie eyed Hairy

Thick

Thighed

Waiting for the break of dawn.



And so I sit here still waiting

Until the final blast

Of kingdoms horns say ‘stop’.

The time has come

Please

Don’t

Say you won’t stay with me.



Elba Ramalho sang sweetly tonight

Tickling pale parched hairs

Dancing over finger bleached keys

Merrily twirling around and around

Tango

Forro

Don’t let me go!





It’s made to dance to, he said

So grab hold and don’t let go.

Eyes green and riveting

Hold you fast in their spell and kiss you

Hard

Deep

Not Yet Don’t!



In your arms and stance

I feel your pride

An electric rivlet

Running up my spine

That steals my breathe

And shakes my pride

And makes me weep

And makes you cry

And don’t imply

and don’t concur

And don’t

Don ‘t

Don’t

Break me again.

Please.

Hope Floats

Hope floats

Over North Bridge Street

A'crest on an unseen stream;

Black

Like a plastic bag

But less restless.


Still dark bent adrift

It hovered over my head that night

Pondering its business

Like an unforeseen scream

Silently lurking

Ready to rumble.

A ripple

Made it teeter

And veer off-course

To ponder

Someone

Else.

Untitled Poem for November

I heard the bell ring
about 1AM
on Monday
how dare you? how could you
you
you
you?

My shattered coast provides no defense
pummeled
raw
and endlessly hopeful;

bleeding quietly
life trickles away
a thin red line
looping the loop
defying death
goggled blondes
turned upside-down

it's very subtle
the Continental
because it does what you want it to do

Geisha
Continental
Kowtow
Now

Low and behold
there you are/...

I've missed you!!

November

Look everyone
A little slipper of a moon
Hanging coyly over Tappan Park
Flirting slyly behind a fan of inky black trees
Blowing you a kiss.

A crimson maple
Blushes
To think that I am infatuated

As the brisk wind wraps its fingers
In both our hair.
It snarls at the sound;
Metal fingers grate asphalt pates
Blustery
Yellow
Slick like spit.
A feathery fabric flies high
In its billowing embrace.
Leaves.
Ignoble glyphs
Alone.
Long for your return.

Alas.

Winter approaches.

Note 1 Dream Poem

Pages turn

Leaves

Brown

Pale

Crisp

Remarkable trade

You'd never believe

The story behind the story

The pain behind the pain

Your pain behind the Purim spiel

Your pain like Job's

Prodding

Probing

Pruning

Previous

Precious

Promote a life

By amputating a limb

The pain

The loss

Buzz

Of a lost limb

Looms large

Against the pastel shaded sky



Invincible



Your teeth on my neck

Pushing back

Hard

Hot Breathe

Neth

Among the lost lost souls

Dream of me

Dear one

As I do of you

You

Lyric head

Homestead

Boy named Fred

Has made my heart flutter

On wings

Anxious

To love again

Without



Clauses

Or Homesteads

Or suppositions

To whit

Too witty

To maintain

For prolonged periods,



Baby I need you

Baby imma want you

Baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby



It sounds a bit foreign

Chaconne ausson gout

A firm arm at the back of your spine

Dips

Your back into a short hard whiplash

Snap



Kiss me Hardy

Hardy

Now.

At Lake Champlain (10/26/10)

They took off their shoes and socks
And waded in
To say farewell
And send you off
Into a perfect symbiosis of body and spirit
Which someone caught on camera,
Your blue bright blazing aura
Rising
Upward
Released.

You wonder how it could be you lost your feet?
Nerve ends burnt icy blue;
Electric eels of envy
Tickle your toes.

A tree behind me
Cradles my head
Like your hands.
Lean back,
Deep drag
And exhale.
I take you in
With baited breathe.

Do not leave the dance floor yet please.
Let's jitter and jive one last time
Swing our hips
Bossa Nova regal
Strut strut.
Your summer print dress speckled with daisies
Spins
And spins
And spins.

.

A Poetry Hangover

Could kill you

Or a loved one.

Are you protected?

The man smiled

A cookie cutter smile

With empty panes for eyes.

I know

This is not news

I know the sound of this sweet constant gong

Banging

Banging

Banging on my temples

Calling the faithful to prayer

Fall on your knees

Oh hear the ancients calling

What are years?

Do I dare?

If not now

Will tomorrow provide a vehicle

Amply in size

With a smooth luxury ride

Yet good gas economy?

The future is hazy

And sits

Parked

In the middle of the harbor

and awaits the poets' ode to a tug.

For Frank

On the edge of a New Year

We stood on the water

On the edge of that pier

We waited

The ship slipped in

On fog dappled kitty paws

My ears are ringing;

The music was deafening

But dancable

Strange dark fingers

Fondle

Fur

"Mink?"

"No cat!"

Sends them skittering away.



Now the hearty lapping of water

Drums my inner ear

Like the anxious fingers on the coffee shop table top

Like the tinkle of the coffee cup

Creating creamy cyclones

Maddening.



And the chill

Two days before

I heard the click

The switch flipping

From off to on

From zero to one

A sharp line

In a blue sky says

Hail the vanquished hero

You survive

You return

Renewed

Resurrected

Ready for this cold baptism

This cold shelter

On the edge of this pier

At the dawn

Of a cold silent New Year.

On Labor Day Evening

Did you see it?
Did you hear it?
the click?
the switch flip
tips snip
no
no
not the salsa
not the rasta man
it cannot be found on the barbacoa grill
sausage sweat
soft hot rendered fat drips
black
on gray ashy coal
family
family
all gather round
guitar and accordione
analog in vinyl
if I must be buried
dip me in vinyl
on a golden September night
on the cliff of dirt
turned
golden orange

.

You do see it don't you?
clear
crisp
a cocktail in light
the wireless electric buzz
on this early Autumn eve
nee summer
hands on your bootie
floating on water
inside and outside
(its the brownies
they're kicking in)
but stop there
take your tongue out of my......

see it?
hear it?
trust me
it was there
i can see it
I'm not at the party
I'm not in familial orbit of abuse
say it with love
and make sure it draws blood
little tiny cuts
on the bottom of your tongue
hot sangria
sangria
sangrai di sanctos
oh Dominick
you foul dirty saint
sad
dreamless
alone

show him the tree in the sky
show him the boat on the bay
show him the quantum void that tunnels through time

hold them close
your small ones
your dear ones
hold them close
walk with them
talk with them
hold them close
to a broken heart
and let hem heal
that throbbing sore

my name is naught
you look at me
will i be here in the morning
or am i leaving you behind
corruptible
anxiety
Formossa
rocks my world to the bottom
of the riverbec

Earl

Outward
Facing outward
Double paned orbs
Stare
X-ed out
Sightless
To the wan steel blue skies
The color of your decrepit sailor's eye.

The Waffle King Dreams

Universal Unisphere

of International Delight

geisha girls

kabuki white

dancing with fans

in a flutter of silks

in a paper house

walls like milk

my sister and I

perched on a flight of stairs

going to nowhere

fighting

for a 007 sixth finger.



It's a small world

at the World's Fair

GM's Futurama

IBM mainframes

AT&T picture phones

promise us a future

we will never see

a past we never knew

extruded plastic brontosauri

made before our eyes

and keep under my pillow

for years to come

tail chewed

and twisted

into a pale green pig point.



The night is filled with man-made stars

bombs bursting in thin thin air

under waters dancing

red and white

playing the blues

downbeat

reflected

in watery pools

in limpid eyes

in hands held

in arms around waists

a kiss on the cheek

a brush of the hair

hips shifting

full

fertile

fragrant



sparkling bright

pieces of light

shards of glass

litter the floor

shattered

scattered



i stand shoeless

naked before you all

but if you're born after

July 14, 1977

you are white trash

that's it!

Sorry!

That's just the way it is!

(That's what the lady said).



And in the middle

of the night

of the light

of the dancing water

of the enlarged goiter

of the broken glass

of the hand on the ass

of the brilliant designs

of the future divine

behold the waffle

the Belgian Waffle

the Golden Waffle

that permeates my dreams.

On The Ferry

I peer over the aged wooden bow
and press my ear 'gainst its sealed oaken mouth;
speak to me
dear one
you saw him last
perhaps right here
also
eyes turned downward
at the churning foam
of dark New York water
as cold and remote as it people
(treading forward
relentlessly
only to to turn right around
back and forth)
endless monotony
like his life must have seemed,
racked with pain
heartbroken
from hurts long ago
that no present lover
or family
kin nor kith
with
arms open wide
smiles of pleasure
at your presence
your wit
your self-deprecation
a gift to us all
could calm.

We sat in a cab together
once upon a time
my queries questioned
your smile a mirror
a told tall tale of the Group
and its leader
the lines between the theater and life.
The audition you took me to went well
anxiety anticipated:
you got the part.
I saw the movie
silly
but still
work
life
art
all rolled up
in a nice pay check
and the knowledge of a job well done
that you would be seen
acknowledged
heard
yet never understood.

You laid your life bare
on stage
at that table
with a glass of water
and a belly full of nerves and notes.
I sat stunned
in awe
laughing crying
taking your hand
on your journey through the jungle
of life
art
plays
love
the ache
the ache
so deep
dark and dreadful
like the disease,
unnamed.

I can hear it now,
in the deep white wake
of the JFK,
the call of a Brooklyn Lorelei
a sensuous siren
irresistible
to the man
with open ears
and broken heart
hip
head
plug in your ear phones
so their deadly alluring song
does not suck you down
to a watery demise
like yours
dearest Spud
my friend
my mentor
my muse.

Silence

In this town

Of lunatic crackpot narcissists

Is a polished gem

Undeserved

By the noblesse oblige few

Who wait for their moment of reality

As dots and lines

On a big fat lightbulb

In the movie house

We respect the silence

Non-sound

Wordless celluloid caper

Rififi

Hitchcock

Shut up

Keep it to yourself

Says the know-it-all geek

Here the the light projects outward

Pictures in light

In the dark

Together

Souls bared

Lives commenced

And ended

And returned

Bound together in prayer and darkness

Jesus would have been an indie director

Showing us the light

The path

Streaking down

Up high

In the back

Through the window

Expanding

Streaming outward

To rest

On nothingness

The white void

Absorbing and reflecting

Our hopes and desires

And if we are lucky

Make me smile

Knees up

Fetal

Reborn

Through the light

And the dark

Where we sit

In devotion

Together

Alone.

Are You Staten Island

That's the question that echoed
That odd old night
Many moons ago
Before your phone could take this picture
Of me and her
Standing in the grotto
(she had tried to find it three times earlier,
But to no avail)
The rock
The rock
Bits of yellow glass
Reflect
In my eyes.

Was I well?
I look thin
I feel thinner
What white wiggling worm
Eats away at what unmentionable part
Deep inside
Moist
Pink
On the monitor
In the exam room
I don't want to see it
But I must
Look at her
Know your enemy
And keep them close
Deep inside
Buried bowel blockage
And pain
Pain
Pain so sharp you close your eyes
And see your father naked
At the Y
Sacred home of naked men
Slap happy ass whacking
The towel
The towel
That covers up the apricot ass
And other things too
But not before
They are duly noted
Numbered
Cataloged
And filed away for future reference.

A future
Brown and fabulous
The almond-eyed future the color of cafe-au-lait and milk chocolate brownies
Seven layers
One for each chakra
Times two
Sending up my prayer
On my knees
In the grotto
And
Lying naked
In the Tiergarden
In simultaneous
Perversity

Oh Staten Island

oh Staten Island
you are golden
in the sweltering August haze
of toxic car exhaust
across the bay
...the platinum porno palaces rise
and glint
make you squint
as you sit on your bench
on Buono Beach
bobbing cormorants bark
stay
stay
stay
just a little bit longer
please
please
please

oh Staten Island
you are golden
bury me under
the wisteria
behind Alice's Gingerbread Box
or better
set me out on a driftwood pyre
set afire
set afloat
under that "god-damn" bridge
a Staten Island Jewish Viking
sailing off
Valhalla awaits
buzzing
wired for wi-fi
and totally free
and totally free
and totally free

Oh Staten Island
you are golden
my dear
greenbelt burnt brown
sunburn stretches
sweet sweet tea
nursing it like a wound
an unexpected child
a deviated septum
can still sense the past
escaping through the torn up asphalt on the old post road
moaning Vanderbilts
cry for sea-salted bait shacks
chokecherry jelly
Stapleton beer
smash the bottle
let the genies out
let the genies out
let the genies out

I Am Staten Island

I am Staten Island
I continue forward in a slow glacial pace
I ache like the flu
I watch "I Love Lucy" to sustain
I am torn
Through
the miasma of an early dog walk
grilled cheese with garden peach tomato and dried mint
ice packs and Asta
opened face grilled avocado and monterey jack
nachos or pizza?
Top chef top chef top chef
garden peach tomato and sunflowers
oatibix and raspberries
...are about to go through the center of the sun

I am Staten Island
putting my feet in wet cement
with John and Lucy
did that throw my hip out
when they get here
...there's nothing but beer
crisp crisp crisps
shiny seated
worn at the knee
but not without charm
I am open to discussion
...I am priced to go
I am available for lunch and/or dinner invitations
just ask me
today
moderate
temperate temperature
yet hot
...irked
where is that damn tuna?
hmmmm?
Staten island?

I am Staten Island
I love fresh tomatoes
I love rock n roll
baking bread for the joker
(clowns to the left)
...kiss me hardy
Duse and Dunkin
donuts and dancing
delicious
delightful
...to mirth
to merriment
to manslaughter
tonight
whatever has to be done will get done
like entomology
naked mole rats
mammal termites
...your mother always wonders
all through the night
all through the day
full heart
empty heart
...sad sad
butterflies flutter
all through your life

I am Staten island
give me a kiss to build a dream on
falling leaves of sycamore
dancing in the moonbeam afterglow
strangers on a boat
...one day
tonight
and every night
rising up in prismatic glory
hep cat nuns in green and gold
...sail by on oyster shell Vespas
puffing puffing
summertime in man's country
van duzer days and clay pit nights
party on the outerbridge
with black and yellow swallowtails
take me to Pier 76 for pizza and beer
or a creamy korma at Dosa Garden
don't forget
this is still Hymietown damn it
...we are Jews
we eat

I am Staten Island
I carry on relentlessly
Emirac Ipecac
ply me with a smile and you'll get more than you bargained for
i pray for the phone to ring
...an invitation
for lunch
for bridge
for a chance
in the primetene mists of my mind
full moon in four hours
werewolf alert
bite my neck
shake me like a ragdoll
...viscera exploding
bend me
shape me anyway you want
I am yours
I am Staten Island
shuffling along en masse
a giant formless amoeba
an enormous toxic algae bloom
shuffling
...yammerimg
shuffling
a line dance of oblivion
Seventh Seal on the 7:30
should I start collecting these for a book
or weave them all into a massive epic poem
to be handed out to ten people passing by the old site
of Max's Luncheonette
...dare I order a cherry lime rickey?
syrupy sweet on a warm Wednesday night in July?
Am I Staten island?
I rise fast
I am bigger and greener than you think
an evening stroll to Tappen Park
lighting up
...lighting out
remember the piers
on a hot summer night
or in the early morning hours
post-Hallowe'en
bumming a ride on the Clearwater
shivering but content
3AM
no cake
not even a cookie
without sweets life is meaningless
...life is cake
cake is life
I shall give your animals
bestiary communion!
CHEAP!
the natives believe coconut shells ward away the snakes
wet lips and lam'e hips
shake and bake
swivel and slip
up we go
and down we go
mal de mer on the Andrew Barbieri
I am green
flat bust broke and down at the heels
tough scruff
come join me
movies in bed
...bring a case of beer
and a bag of chips
or
let's count the different butterflies
dancing
gamboling
a pirouette of flight
is lovely
and cheap
I am Staten Island