Year End Note 2010

The bivalve breathes

Slow in

Fast out

For movement

For nourishment

For existence

In this world

Is primarily duality

Breathe in

Breathe out

With each step

The path unfolds

Rough and smooth

Raked pebbles

Along garden paths

Lined with roses.

You picked one

Offer it as your token

Stroked it 'gainst your lips

Soft

Plump

Then.

Hourglasses empty

Turn after turn

Rose petals wither

Tortured dry

Trying to maintain

A semblance of youth

Gone.

The bivalve breathes

Slow in

Slow out

Opening its tender heart

To its dark unseen world

I enter

A secret love

A pain it did not ask for

Unrequested

Unrequited

Yet

Someday

To be a pearl.

Dream Fragments

March 3rd

Drempt I had graying temples.
It looked good.
Brushed my hair; they got grayer.

March 7th

Drempt I was playing accordion for a show.
I felt I was playing well, but the director was mildly critical.
Rehearsal was in some loft.
I left and saw a storefront with a beautiful automated marionette show.
The storefront was for a seer.

May 26th

Drempt I was in LA watching "The Kids in the Hall" on the Economy Channel
Had to find Grand Tchpatoula (?) in the warehouse district.

Drempt Vivecca was there (having PC problems). Told me she had cancer. Told her to believe in miracles, trust yourself, inner voice.

September 23rd

I drempt I was sent a box of herb tea (I need tea).
The tea was loose, but sitting on top of the tea was a beautiful yellow-orange rose.
Who sent it? Mom? Lyd?

Febuary 8th

I'm living in some depressed town.
A factory was attached to the High School.
People all hang out at the diner where they serve sweet potato fries.

March 19th

Drempt I was staying at a house with a group of people.
There was a lot of fabric.
Someone got mad at me because I cut a bolt and the piece was only 1 yard wide, not wide enuf for this project.
There was a big gathering at the house, a party, a wedding reception.
Lots of people/old friends (Schwed?).
Later Jasmine shows up.
She's visiting.
She's got a 'Blondie'-type bleach job.
We go out to get something to eat.

July 22nd

I'm working in some university library.
Then I'm on a train w/ Carol & Ron, going 'home'.
Then I'm in some big dorm/apartment building.
I'm living with someone.
I'm visited by Nicole Williamson, jewelry designer.
I admit to having made a mistake.

Aoril 1st

Drempt about Zero Mostel owning a store going out of business.
Guns were involved.
Don't remember details.
Had to go hunting for food.

January 7th

Drempt of going to the movies.
Some triple Feature.
Lot's of people were there.

January 28th

Drempt about a house.
Living there with a number of people (was I in school?).
That's all I remember.
Later......
I remember picking walnuts...
small black walnuts...
they were dissolving in my hands.

February 3rd

I'm in this big house again.
I'm teaching there I think...
I get in a car with Dad and go to the beach.
I put on my underwear before exiting car (I'm naked).
People are at the beach including Joseph Triebwasser.
We exchange sharp remarks.
He is working on some script.
Beach is busy.
Back at the house there's a ticking sound.
Someone has put new tacks in the floor.

Untitled December Poem

Cold staring cat’s eye
Hangs
Mid-sky

Its hooded cat’s lid
Fixed
Unkind

Vexed like a spurned lover
Alone
Blind

Don’t turn your back
On my
Desire

It’s arched black neck
The very
Question.

New Year Fragment

Just you wait
until you aren't 35
or 39
or 44
just wait!

I laugh when I tell you that
but
where does laughter come from
friend?
Did you really every consider
it?

Oh dry up ~
what kind of a scarf?
Puce?

You make me want to vomit
Puce:
an hommage .

Alone
on cold wrought iron
brown paper for protection
you read me
and spit me out.

Red hawks know
where media graze
in this large empty city
surrounded by water.

Can you hear
it? No?
Of course not dear.
Smile and defer
your dinner comes from a frontier

long gone
unjustly obscene
lingering on the tongue
like your scent
on my sheets
dark
pungent
illogical

trnaslating Russian to English.

Cold December Night

I put out my hands to the screen
And it looks back at me,
Dumbfounded!
Ish Kabibble
What’s in your kibble?
Are you trying to eat my organs?
Are you some alien being trying to breed your brood in my gullet?
I think back on it….
Was it something I said?

Of course, what else, pas quoi, pas mal, seht guht, nicht mal….

The heart is a lonely beast
Calling to the moon,
A sliced scar,
In the cold December sky.

It’s short
And bald
And it’s gums are receding!
They bleed far to easily:
Another soft spot
In a constellation
That makes a thorny crown
On the pate of my heart.

My heart looks to the moon.
It’s smiling
A dark secret smile
That the two share
On a dark cold night
In advent of Solstice.

Early December, Early Saturday

Incognito snowdrops loom small

Beneath your hard cracked surface

Buried high

Layer upon layer

Of grime

And years

And wrinkled regret.



You hold my hand and say

“Darling, I love you.”

But it burns my fingers

And I pull back.

My reflex.

Please no

Don’t touch my feet!!



Fishy fishy fishy fishy

Nibble nibble at my toes.

You are happy in your tank there

Fishy fishy has no woes.

Don’t

Stop

Fishy fishy don’t!



My man is here someplace, I hear.

Hiding beneath an icy sheath

Head slumped; Dark eyed

Pie eyed Hairy

Thick

Thighed

Waiting for the break of dawn.



And so I sit here still waiting

Until the final blast

Of kingdoms horns say ‘stop’.

The time has come

Please

Don’t

Say you won’t stay with me.



Elba Ramalho sang sweetly tonight

Tickling pale parched hairs

Dancing over finger bleached keys

Merrily twirling around and around

Tango

Forro

Don’t let me go!





It’s made to dance to, he said

So grab hold and don’t let go.

Eyes green and riveting

Hold you fast in their spell and kiss you

Hard

Deep

Not Yet Don’t!



In your arms and stance

I feel your pride

An electric rivlet

Running up my spine

That steals my breathe

And shakes my pride

And makes me weep

And makes you cry

And don’t imply

and don’t concur

And don’t

Don ‘t

Don’t

Break me again.

Please.